Ayu~Jolim

2006-11-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

Hey ppl! Got a new blog add, rem to relink. this blog will still exist but won't be updated. =) Go on http://my26th.blogspot.com/

2006-10-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

hey ppls! Long time nvr blog lohx. hehe. yeah, been busy slackin all e while. sorri for a load of things dat i didnt manage to do in time. i'm so sorri! reali sorri! gwah. guess i hav been cheated again. life stil sux anyway. bwaha but i'm not gonna care. i live my way. take care ya ppls! loads of love n lucks to audd n nette. =) cya ard. dance practs gonna resume soon! yayness. though tired. hee.

2006-09-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

hmmm. jux came back from studying. cant reali say it as muggin, cuz i dun tink i'm dat hardworkin dis week. had a great dae at aunt's hse n i feel lyk a princess. got to buy sum of e branded stuffs at great discounted price n had good food instaed of mac n long john. hmmm. i'm glad. although i'm stil not over dat incident but guess time wil let it go by. anyway. remindin myself to go study again. dere's ss test n music lesson tml. loads of luck classmates. n me of course. =)

2006-09-03T03:32:00.000-07:00

woots. i'm here to update. lotsa things had happened to me e pass few months and guess it made me realise alot of things. yeah, i was addicted to mahjong. i tried to numb myself using that but guess it didnt work out anyway. so, i'm back to my old self again. i was kept in the dark for alot of things. till now, i practically hav no idea of what is happening around me and i guess i would hav to decipher on what i see and hear, though i cant make sure of whether it is true or not. well, gotta work hard for end of year, cant be slacking dat much, if not i can forget about getting promoted. sorta on a neutral line now, cant b smilin n cant b frowning. i dunno wat to do. feel lyk ostracising myself from everyone. dat's y i got so much negative reactions frm dem. but i couldnt giv a damn. i cant even fix my own probs. so tired. i dunno wat to do. i feel as if i'm lost. but guess no one could help anyway. anayway, loads of luck for eoy ppl. jiayous. =1

2006-08-09T22:48:00.000-07:00

hehe. blogged twice a dae cuz i jux dun feel lyk revisin for common tests. reali dun feel lyk it. yeah, mayb i would flunk again but seriously, i'm not carin so much. mayb i would whine to constance (poor gal who sits beside me) when i fail but i deserve it anyway. yeapp. watchin movies l8r, jux wanna let my feelins go lower den usual. meaning not having so much ups n downs. rather stay on e line of normal. hmmm. i dun hav any other alternatives to take so y not face reality n walk down dat road wif pride? (hee, imaginery sia) yeah, i jux nid sum rest. too bad common tests jux next week.

btw, jux saw e blog of kenny, a 2/5 birthdae boi. his bdae is yest! yeapp. thanks for underlinin e 'dat tap dancer', i noe wat it means. n reali appreciate it. thanks boi. =) yeapp. so much for ndp. suddenli realised dat i saw things onli on e surface, haven got to see e other side of it. yeah. so sad. but nvm, nth can b done anyway. e more u try to salvage e worst it gets. so might as well take dat onli road n walk wif glam n pride. thanks 2/5 peeps! love yas!

2006-08-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

HEYHEY! NDP certainly rocks! My hair is e highlight of e dae! my dae larhx. hehe. lyk small dino but got blue streaks de. thanks to my hiarstylist arhx. started e dae at mac, den went to sch. got a grp pic from aloysius. btw, he kept callin mi da jie. lols. den went on to e indoor stadium. got our gorgeous hair done and makeup too. den went on to hav our last free kfc and milo. haiz. took as much pics as we could. den went to e stadium. prepared for per, and hao bu rong yi den put on e visors. ahax. den we did a great per. went down to e field/square, n got reali high wif 2/5. they r reali veri enthu n high. love 'em so much. been 'highin' wif 'em since e 1st pract. yayness. den marked an end to everything after e fireworks. so nice! den continued to dance n high n see e dancers on stage, dey dance reali chio lorhx. haha. den dere is dis super romantic guy who proposed to his gal and l8r went up e stage which kaira gong stood n wil rise up to a certain height de. congrats! hee. so much for ndp!

2006-08-08T04:08:00.000-07:00

hmmmm. e theme of dis blogskin suits e stmosphere of my aura now. bwahaha. watever. sumtimes things r jux fated to b lyk dis n all u hav to do is jux try ur best n leave e rest to fate. not much to mourn as things r alredi liddat. miracles dun reali happen dat alot in a lifetime, so jux hope for e best, expect e worst. tml's ndp, mark an end to all e efforts and hardwork these 4 to 5 months. so sentimental. awwww. thanks for everything all dis while. =) n dere is a fireworks festival! not gonna miss it so go catch it. it wil b fun. take care ppls.

2006-08-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

woots. went to k yesterdae. yeap. fun n such. oways loves nette n audd. my sweetie gals. oso my sons. =) hee. a lil surprise. hmmmm. ndp is in 2 daes time. jiayous every1!

2006-08-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

gwah. seriousli, i dont noe wat i'm doin nowadays. i'm pretty crazy. eck. i hate myself. sumtimes, mind n body jux doesnt coordinate n stuffs jux get worse. blahx. i dunno wat's happeneing. roar. so su seh. loads of things, i cant solve n wont solve. it wont b solvable, it wil onli stay liddat. anyone help mi pls? blahx. save me from all these agonies.

False Evidence that Appears Real

2006-07-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

Fear. Well, you would need courage to overcome it but where and how do you get courage?

Life's been so lackadaiscal for me. Well, i jolly well know that i'm not very often at home and seriously, mum's free for three days and she went to stay with aunt. Now she comes back complaining about me keep going out. And what i wanted? Just to watch pirates. myself. Yes. Myself. What's so wrong that i gotta busy schedules nowadays and even if i seek her consent, she says 'no', i try to convince her, i'm deemed as treating her as dead cause i don't listen to her. Blahx. I have developed a thing for home, and that is i don't like to go home. It's so lacking of the family feelings. It feels more like a place for me to sleep and use computer. That's all. Whenever i'm home, i'm all alone. No one there for me to talk to or worse, when there's someone, we ended up quarrelling. I'm sick. They always work and complain that it's my fault but please, i have a life of my own and it's just the way how i was brought up. From young when i was always forced to stay at home, nobody played with me cause everybody's busy working for my future. I sang to myself, even talked to myself and i once thought i was crazy. Nobody cared. I don't wish to care now. After all this while, i have grown to be more immune to things. Isolation is far more better for me. I'm better off alone.

After the competition, passion for singing still burns and i won't give up. I know life's always been like that. Not that smooth sailing for me. Guess it would never would. I'm just frustrated. Why it all my fault? Why is it that i have to be the one giving in? They are afterall adults! Please, i know they undergo so much pressure but do they understand what i'm going through? Just that i don't meet what they want and i'm deemed as shit. Why not i kill myself then wouldn't things be easier? Then they don't have to spend so much energy on me. I'm not gonna commit suicide anyway. Just a sudden outburst of feelings. Then is the problem with communication breakdown. Serious, we hadn't had a good talk and i guess everyone's busy but that's not the issue. They just don't seem to see the whole picture. Things doesn't seem right. I'm too dominant in wanting things my way. I know that. But i think my requests are not that demanding anyway. Blahx. Yeah, ends up giving me those shit attitudes. Is staying at home so interesting? Facing four walls and a comp infront? Yeah. Pretty interesting huh?

Hmmmmm. We better do some talkings. Or else things would worsen. Yeah, i'm fine. Just you know, better off alone. Yay, sing along with my karaoke songs. Haha. Lucks everyone!

2006-07-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

aiyo. todae reali unlucky arhx. chem spa e burette got an odd hole dere keep squirtin e maganate solution out all over the place. den at dance, shuang ren wu wif chen, den land straight on my butt. is tong dao. eck. muz let it slow slow heal le. haiyo. den wen my dad on e lights of e masterbed room, it stil works. but wen it came under my hands, e stupid light jux wont light up for my pathetic sake. haiz. dis is life. blahx. x)

2006-07-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

woots. finalli ended e competition! wasnt sad or anything. juz sorri dat made ppl waste their monei. bu hao yi si lehx. haha. it's jux a 'game'. face it with a smile! =) take it easy ppl. for e contestants who got in, go go go! haha.

2006-07-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

today's the day. heyhey. i onli noe dat i wasnt on the right track as i'm not in the right mood. how come so glum? i seriously dont know and wont know why. should have thought of this even before it started. it was expected but i guess it's just about taking it in that's the difficult part. every start has an end. eventually. but whatever. sk8ter boi still rocks. yepp. huo chu qu le! =)

He was a boy She was a girl
Can i make it any more obvious
He was a punk
She did ballet
What more can i say
He wanted her
She'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well
But all of her friends
Stuck up their nose
They had a problem with his baggy clothes

He was a skater boy
She said see you later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth

5 years from now
She sits at home
Feeding the baby she's all alone
She turns on tv
Guess who she sees
Skater boy rockin up MTV
She calls up her friends
They already know
And they've all got
Tickets to see his show
She tags along
Stands in the crowd
Looks up at the man that she turned down

He was a skater boy
She said see you later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
Now he's a super star
Slamming on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

He was a skater boy
She said see you later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
Now he's a super star
Slamming on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry girl but you missed out
Well tough luck that boy's mine now
We are more than just good friends
This is how the story ends
Too bad that you couldn't see,
See the man that boy could be
There is more that meets the eye I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boy
And Im just a girl
Can I make it any more obvious
We are in love
Haven't you heard
How we rock eachothers world

I'm with the skater boy
I said see you later boy
I'll be back stage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know

I'm with the skater boy
I said see you later boy
I'll be back stage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know

2006-07-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

hmmms. tml is e semifinals. yepp. gotta b earli for preparation n stuffs. seriousli, i'm not prepared. cuz it's sorta busy nowadaes. but nvm, huo chu qu jiu hao le bahx. thanks to those who r goin to b dere n morally supportin mi. yepp. =) take care my gals.

2006-07-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

mwahaha! i'm so happi now! mummy bought me two nice dresses! she's so nice. suddenly realise maybe parents are just not good at showing their concern and they tend to over scold. but in the end they are still so sweet and such. i wanna watch pirates todae!! Sk8ter Boi rocks. bwahaha. =)

2006-07-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

Hmms. Suddenly gotta reflect on this, can people really bury their hatchet? If they can, then it would be best. But if they can't? Then it's nightmare. People really gotta change alot to adapt to this kinda environment. They get some what ostracised, marginalised or even shunned. But whatever it is, i hope this would eventually resolve and everything would be fine again ayes. Hurts to see people being like that and things worsen every time they try to salvage it. People really tend to try too hard.

Humph! Can't watch Pirates of the Caribbean cause of two tests tml and i'm still very frustrated. Can only watch it this sunday. Hmmmm, i miss Jack Sparrow and Will Turner! They are so cool! Thanks to xinyu for the tickets. =) I shall watch it! Pirates, here i come!

2006-07-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

muahaha. finally aft ndp n i hav time to update! zhiyong arhx. my little son. take care of ur wound arhx. haha. den jiu shi, i'm so happi to see sze n yw together. take care my sis. =) hmmm. have a sudden crave to learn gals hip hop but dunno where to go. so tired. blah. yawns. think i shall go sleep again. bb.

2006-07-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

Yay, finally being able to update. Life's been more on slacking and eating and sleeping and such except homework. Yeah, sorta screwed it anyway. Don't feel like giving a damn. Just finished guitar exam and guess it wont turn out well. And i missed my shpping trip thanks to the musical. Shit. Should have turned it down and it wouldn't have caused so much trouble. Sorry my gal. The next thing coming up is olevels chinese oral, i'm not gonna flunk it. Then it's going to be the teenage icon semi-finals. Yeah, it is fun and i really loved the way they styled my hair the other time. It took about 30-45 minutes. Muaha, i'm crazy. Gonna change blogskin in a few weeks time. Them i suddenly thought of this, am i over enthusiastic in my cca? But i seriously don't think so. Well, my classmates prob me to ask this question. I just can't reach a balance. Aha. I don't know why anyway. Whatever. Heck. Bye. =) Take care people.

2006-07-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

woots. ndp's tiring n such. cant realli make out wat i'm doin now. totalli confused. yeah. hate ppl who dun fulfill their promise. but watever, i've got no power to judge or anything. sad excuses n false hopes high, dun send ppl to heaven n drop dem liddat. it's not funny. how dem can b jerks. now i realise y. no point arguing. it wont help anyway. i dunno how i feel, guess dat it wont b e same n much more difficult. i'll hav to learn anyway. hmmm. ya. learn n it wont b e same.

2006-06-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

well yeah. long daes ahead. nights spent chatting and working. onli by now i hav time to update. thought tired but stil energetic. sumtimes just upset wif inconsiderate ppl n those giving false hopes high n sad excuses. thanks so much for e extra load lohx. watever, if dis is wat dey want, ive got nth to sae. clap hands mayb. yeah. lucks for tml n stuffs. thanks so much my gals, u gals rock. love ya'l. jiayou.

2006-06-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

wootz. tired aye. sch starts tml and i'm stil bombarded by so much hw undone. pardon me. it's cuz of so much things dat r happenin dat gave mi dat mood swing. i'm so tired, juz soooo tired. i feel lyk a drag. heyhey, my mood swing dae was brightened up n i shall do my hw! wahaha. but actuali i suddenli feel so sick. i dunno y. juz sick. gwah. watever. i tink i'm a freak anyway. hee. okaes. i shall stop crappin n do my work! lest sumone nags at mi again! love ya'll loads my gals!

2006-06-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

clap hands for me missing 2 shootings in a row. but i guess i would stick to my principal of dance is priority. jux lyk last year. yeah. hope i can get e chance to go anyway. btw, i would nid sum karaoke music, anyone any suggestions? cuz i reali cant find a good enough song in dat studio. yepp. dats all. n i reali dun lyk ndp. shhhhh. haha =)

2006-06-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

woots. finally aft dance camp. hope u guys reali enjoyed it. =) take care of urselfs ya? esp e guys (ahem, u noe y). dancers reali rocks aload but stil we hav a long way to go! jiayou!

and i suddenly thought abt dis. is it better to live life a tad low profile rather than showin off watever u hav and bein a follower rather than an individual. seriously, two ppl havin same aspirations though using same approach towards it may hav two different attitudes. actuali i wasnt happi abt e results anyway, cuz it seems so much lyk a fraud. i dunno. juz so odd. i would rather lose cuz i'm not up to it n try again. not to barely make it so un-honourably. but since i'm such a long way here, i shall make full use of it n prove dem wrong.

aft such a long way, i can finally make out e road dat i wanna take. and i found e true frens dat would stae by me forever. dey wouldnt leave. dey onli stop to see me go far. thanks aload my gals. i stil rem e times. 8 sis though separated, heart attached. mui wei, my pal for life. xue en, my happi peanut. weesze, e tru-est fren of all. =) love ya.

2006-06-18T04:26:00.000-07:00

humph. had an enjoyable time during chalet. its sorta fun. e first dae was filled with excitement cuz its juz so exciting. den went to ride bike and slacked (aka nvr do anything for bbq, i apologise! sorry!) went to see stars wif wenjie and junyang and blurted all e things dat once held deep in our hearts, awww. no larhx. sound so siao. we juz talked abt our lives and exchanged thoughts. hmmm. ya. its was beneficial. =) den sam and all came. had fun watchin yu le bai fen bai and ridin to e beach, though not much stars can be noticed. plus, i drank bailey plus chocolate milk!! so nice and sweet. played games and drank more of it larhx. den bcum kong kong. came back but found no place to sleep, so sleep on e bench outside. den kana lisiao cuz my phone got sum undisclosed stuffs n kai wei n kai sheng ganged up to threatened to bluetooth it n put on baidu for ppl to download. lols. worst case is, i was chargin my phone, n dunno which idiot gave him larhx. make mi whole night canot sleep. den they slept near n den lisiao mi whole mornin until canot sleep oso. wa veri jialat. onli until 5 sumthin den can sleep. plus all of us sleepin outside sneaked in to the chalet beside n slept until afternoon. wahaha.

second dae oso kana lisiao to wake up. and went to e public toilet to bathe. went back and played truth or dare. wa, i kept choosin dare den keep givin e worst 1 lehx. veri cham arhx. got wat pantie and watsoever de, u noe it's all kana by me. lols. den we went to but stuffs for bbq! yay! i contributed by yanning e nice chicken wif loads of huney. haha. so sweet l8r kana diabetes. waha. went to sleep wif nette and audd. we were soooooooo crazy!!

third dae, woke up reluctantly and took audrey's mum's car to sch. thanks so much! and we were surprisingly not late! haha. den e dae started wif ndp! yay!=)

2006-06-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

i'm findin company to juz keep my loneliness away. i dunno. i feel so fake. i dunno. growls. i wanna scream to e world. i dunno. i'm juz frustrated and i dunno why.yah. dunno y. cuz i nvr receive e sms n i tink i sent sumthin freaky. i'm pretty ass huh. i dunno. tml's dance pract. aniticipated yet complicated. ROAR. ROAR. ROAR. ROAR. ROAR. hee.

2006-06-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

wahahas! i'm finally back. gr. life's a tad on the extreme side anyway. i'm havin heart attacks every now and then. it's juz so freakin odd. but watever. yah. my blog sucks anyway. if you wonder where are the links, pardon dis smartass who forgot to put e links back aft she changed her blogskin. yah. really enjoyed e europe trip and i didnt feel lyk cumin back. cuz it's a tad stressful here. running away from reality sounds better. i reali wanna run away. cuz it reali scares me. yah. i'm pretty dumb anyway to think of dis but watever.

europe trip made mi realise sumthings. bitchy ppl bitchy style. quote frm my dunno wat conversation. i forgot. feelin isck abt it anyway. let's stop here.

i wanna hug mui wei. imagine e onli 1 pri sch frenship dat lasted, dat sailed through all storms and thunders. i'm kinda saddist, i noe. but watever. ROAR. Take me away. I wanna run and leave for good. dun bother mi.

2006-05-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since i blogged. bwahaha. due to the fact that my stupid comp is spoiled and i can only change my blogskin but NOT update. Grrr. Results are not as i had expected and i seriously need to buck up. Hmmms. Yeah. But whatever. Sometimes, it would be better if you can change for the good rather than you stay as you are. Because it doesn't make you better anyway. I'm not really keen on the trip anymore but just treat it as a journey to rest and come back with more enthusiasm? There would be more upcoming events after this june holidays. More stressful than it can ever get. Well, looking forward to the chalet! =) Let's be molecules!

2006-04-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Went to Jieling's JC concert yesterday and it was fantastic!

2006-04-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

Remember today. 28th of April 2006. Total fraud. It wasn't even supposed to happen. We won't want this ever again. What we are lacking is what went wrong. This may be considered a samll event but what does this implies? Is it going to be the same for all other events? It must not be. I hate the smug look on that person in suit, I hate the laughters which are mocking, it's insulting and this just shows our vulnerability. I hate the feeling of being sorry to someone and disappointing him. You reap what you sow. It's not an old saying but a practical saying. It's happening everyday in your life. Whenever you face a downfall, you strive to get an uplift (I invented this word). No use crying and mourning which I did. It doesn't help anyway. The only way is to prove them wrong for every little event. We live up to our name, it didn't change the past ten years and will never change the next ten years. Not only hard work is important but it's the heart you put in. The mindset of you for everything you do. If you do it optimistically, you find it easier to accept and do it without difficulty. If you do it pessimistically, it will be difficult even if you actually can do it. If the gag is not posing any threat and second thoughts, then there is something amiss. It is a warning. A pre-gag if it doesn't improve from now on. It will only continue to be a downfall.

Let's prove everyone wrong and not repeat this again. It must never happen again. We are all old enough to think for the best. Let's get the correct mindset and improve for the best! =) Take care all my dearies. PDGF! You always is our father. =)

2006-04-23T05:32:00.000-07:00

okaes, 2 entries in a dae. this thing must be resolved ya? if not it wil get worse when the misunderstandings go deeper. firstly, it's not wat u see the one side depression. it's mutual misunderstandings, dun push blame to others wen u think u are rite. that is it. you are darn wrong. pls think about the things you did and say, if it doesnt hurt others, why the rebound? it's juz dat we dun put it on paper and say it out loud. we keep mum. we keep giving in. we try our best to understand. if we must sae it out, i guess u would get loads of rebounds. it's not dat i'm helping either one, but, u see, who benefited and who lost? pls b understandin enough and dun tink dat e world is onli crashing down on u. it's oways crashing down. i hope u guys resolve the probs soon. i dun wan to see ant cryings and scoldings. talk gals. talk. =)

2006-04-23T04:25:00.000-07:00

Gwah. Freakin stupid dis daes, i cant even solve a simple mental sum?? Darn, i'm so dumb. wuteva. suddenli had e urge to blog about a dancer's life. my life as a dancer, in the sense, yah. it's oways so stressful and dance practs are so consistant even wen it's exams. but dats wat we are for, endure the un-endurable. haha. den it's syf, the all time favourite festival. get all bonded and so HIGH. yepp. =) normal dance practs are those wen u get either too stressed or lazy. cuz it's either u chiong lyk 88th or be lazy wen u dun hav to dance. haha, and u hav to take care of studies too. it's a tad hard to manage but it'll all get over, isnt it? yepp. wish everyone loads of luck fer midyear yah. take care.

and i bought my most desired phone and i'm reali satisfied with it. =) then countdown-ing to speech dae is lyk 5 more daes. get wat i mean? quick. pls. =) tata, bye.

2006-04-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

Well, todae is abit tiring and freakish. Bwahaha, i ran and as expected came back with nothing. It doesnt matter anyway. =) It's quite dumb to put mi in as i'm bound to run last. Haha. But nvm, actuali i did sprinted in 100 cuz i wanted to win sumone but i totalli slack in 200. and sum seniors asked dat why did i jog e way back and i was lyk, is it so obvious? I noe it's dumb, and anyone would hav thought dat was an excuse but watever. I was darn tired and since i saw a gal who was as slow, i decided to go with her and i was finalli overtaked at the last step. Marking as the last runner. Haha. Sorta regretin dat i didnt even try to run but i guess i'm juz not as strong in willpower. Nvm, mayb i'm juz dat weak. Congrats to our 4 x400 gals! U won us honour! Guys too, great job! And mrs lee was so sporting to run with us barefooted! PROUD OF 3/9!

Todae had sum stupid things too. Thanks to anbe, i had a 'declaration' on my camp tee which is my favourite school shirt. Making it so un-wearable and i guess i wont wear it to sch if i cant wash that statement away. and i love to wear that shirt to my cca, now i cant. watever, and i was so worried dat my parents would notice it. Thanks to a.t, i hurt my elbow and it stil hurts kaes. And she conned mi lorhx. And sq wrote my favourite name on his shirt and i was so p***** . It's my and mine. Dont put it on others. Haiz, i feel so eck abt it. Skye's forever my and mine favourite name. Eeeyer. Bwah. Stop making fun alredy. It's not fun anyway. Grrr. But had a fun self-hurting game wif jy, anbe, sq, wh and xinxin. So funny! Okaes, whatever. =)

And speech dae is onli a week away, dat means i'm left wif seven daes, pls do sumthin abt it. I cant oways wait, pls juz sae it. I'm oways dere and wil oways accept it. pls. pls. pls. pls. pls. pls.
*Flys away.*

2006-04-20T02:45:00.000-07:00

Replies to tag:

Lihuan: Do it in your own blog. And I'll go see. Haha. =)
Audrey: Love ya!
Ivy: I like your hair!
Cyn: Froggies! Haha.
Shana: I found urs too!

And it had been so stressing this daes. Plus, it's so dumb dat i hav to run 100 and 200m dash finals. I don't even freaking noe how i got in cuz it's veri obvious dat i didn't ran as fast. watever. i'm bound to be last anyway. so watever, don't blame mi. arrrgh. but i stil try to FLY. yeah. try. FLY.

2006-04-17T03:39:00.000-07:00

Okaes. Thanks to audrey, here i come to post. Ohhh. I have to list 8 different points about my perfect lover. And sabotage 4 more people to join the game and leave a comment on their page saying that they've been tagged. Specify the gender of the target. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again. So here it goes.

1. Love me for who I am - Don't try to ask me to change, it's too hard.
2. Gentlemen - Of course. =)
3. Romantic - Essential gift from heaven. If not, please do something about it. Haha, okaes don't need to be too romantic, but at least try.
4. Open-minded - Don't be prejudice.
5. A tad rebellious - Don't be too guai. (Cuz i'm not. Haha. Shhhh.)
6. Honest - Lie when it's meant to be kind. =)
7. Independant - It's only yourself.
8. Your own point that I like about - Everyone has got his own, special aye!

Next four people to do it! JESLYN. WENXUAN. LIHUAN. YANGYANG. Bwahaha. =)

2006-04-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

i'm only going to sae dis once. ppl out dere who lyks anione muz confess if not dey would regret ALOT. dat's wat i've learnt. pls b brave enough to juz sae it out loud. it doesnt hurt if u r rejected. dun regret e dae wen u suddenli realise, y i nvr tell him/her arhx? i shld have tried to, then we wouldnt be strangers now? den it would b mi who ish holdin their hands.. haiz...*regrets*

yeapp. that's wat i tink now. it's quite random. but it juz made mi realised e importance of it. bwahaha. wish all lovers and lover-wannabes loads of luck! =)

and friendship ish oso vv important. no matter how much misunderstandins u hav, pls b tolerant if u tink u had enough. givin in 1 more step doesnt hurt either. tresure everything u hav. be nice and cute. lyk mi. bwahaha. jkjk. but reali, oways calm down aft e storm. b frens again. dun shun/ostracise/cold shouder kaes? =) take care my dearies.

2006-04-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

I'm going to only say this once. I'm not the spoiled brat and typical bimbo you see. Am I not trying not hard enough? I don't want this too. I can't stand it! I alredy tried my best and I can't help it if i fail. Why am I always at fault? Why am I the victim? Why those people can't try to see from my point of view? I don't want to fail my tests either. I only want to destress by buying some things, is it that hard? Well yeah, all wrong is me.

I'm so envious. I can't deny it. Why am I always the odd one out? I don't know. Fate, I guess. I'm really tired. Please say it if you are, I can't go on anymore. It's straining me. He is but he's just so ARRGH. I'm sinking. To the bottom. ARRGH. Stupid shit. I'm so tired by all these things. Haiz.

2006-04-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

and i juz wanna sae our class got into e top 4 of e inter-class bball match aye! cool dudes. wow. hope dey wil do well in e next match. blahx, we nearli got scolded for goin to watch 'em but 3o'9 rawks to a certain extent. haha. 2o'6 stil rawks e most. =)

btw, i'm sorta in a confusion again. i'm stucked but i wont care abt it anyway. it's too confusing to think abt it. and yeah, i forgot wat i want to type again so i'm typing this to tell u. bwa. yeah, i rem now. i think i'm a spoiled brat. i dunno. cuz i kept spendin monei but i dun tink i reali spent dat much. i dunno, it's not my fault dat i nid to wear specs and buy one new pant for the year and it was she who said it nvr hurts to spend a little. i onli said i would lyk to cut my hair for abt twenty dollars cuz got designer mahx and i said e branded stuffs looked nice and she critisized mi liddat. in the end, i nvr did these things n i alredi got scolded. imagine i didnt tell her so randomly and reali went to do it. blahx. i dunno, but i seriousli tink i'm not a spoiled brat and sumone who yearns for branded stuffs. but nvm. she juz tink i'm liddat. anything.

haiz. my results are lyk shit. i keep failin my maths. both maths. am i jinxed or wat? i nvr fail my other subs except both maths. cool aye. i'm such a dumbass. eew. i hate my life.

2006-04-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

i shall update my blog. i've got specs. yes. specs and i'm so frustrated abt it. and i'm wearin it now to type dis entry. karma aye? last time in pri sch i kept laughing at ppl wif specs and clled them four eye frog. now they can call mi e same liao lor. eeyer. and it cost mi 300 bucks. i'm conned lorhx. it's transition lens which i reali dun nid it. and e stupid high astigmatism made it so ex. blahx. my myopia ish onli 75 on each side lorhx. darn astigmatism. deni went to see eye specialist and he said i cant wear contact lens ever due to my uber sensitive eyes. shan't blabber more on my eyes.

tap dance isnt easy but rawkx. it got us back, knee, ankle and all sorts of pain but i guess it's worth it. though it's a tad hard. i'm so arrgh. ARRGH.

2006-03-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lyrics for the dae 26!!!! It's left with last five minutes and i just wanted to post this lyric. BLAH. I noe it sounds dumb.

"Things I'll Never Say"
I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

[Pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth itYeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things
I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

[Pre-Chorus]
Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say

Totally relates how I feel. BLAH. Eck. *runs away*

2006-03-26T00:09:00.000-08:00

blah. i'm just so. eck. i cant help blushin. todae is 26. supposed to be a good dae. yeah. nvm. dere's oways next month. BLAH. I want you. If i could sae wat i wanna see, i wanna see u go down on one knee. Marry me todae. Things i'll never say by avril. rocko lyrics. bala.

2006-03-23T06:21:00.000-08:00

i think it's coming. it's a matter of sooner or later. i just dont know why but i just know it. i cant stand it anymore. i'm too tired to even care about it. i wanna care but i dont have the extra effort cause i'm just as tired and arrggh. saddistic arent it? blahx. i reali dunt know what to say. it's not the same anymore. changed and it will never go back. i dont know. i dont understand.

i shall play my guitar and let my feelings get calmer. if not, i would die of stress. and i have 100 and 200 dash and 4 x100 relay heats tml. i seriouli think i cant get in anyway. so nvm. i demand. i will try my best and wish mi loads of luck. horoscope says tml's my lucky dae. =) not run. not sprint. FLY.

2006-03-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

Sec 3 camp.

I'm finally back frm e disasterous session at changi erm adventure centre. AH GUAS RAWKS!!!!! GROUP 9!!!!! Yeapps. We rawks. Bwahaha. Well, e first dae started with mi sleepin in e coach hugging my dearest sleeping bag. We arrived dere n had our lunch which was disasterous. Then we went to our dorms and i'm with audrey!, jeanette!, audrey's nice fren! and serene!! We went to play e wat jump over e lava thing and spider web. Then rock climbing, we learned the belayer 'conversation' and i went to e top! Yay! Then went to CRC and walked the line thing and my legs are shaking lyk hell. Omg. I'm lyk "I cant, it's just too high! Can i come down?" And our rocko trainer SUFYAN goes "No, you can do it. Go on." He's so cheerful and noes loads of cheers and songs. So cool. Then we went to have our dinner and went to bathe. The toilet was flooded with ppl so we went to the gents to bathe. We went back to our dorms to sleep and i used my inflatable pillow! I kept kat jiao-ing serene and making her irritated with mi. Haha. She was trying to sleep and closed her eyes, i went "Wah, SERENE sleep liao ah?" She opened her eyes and 'haiya' at mi and turned e other side. I started poking her and say, "eh, i cant sleep." "SLEEP LAH." So i guai guai and went to sleep. Nai ma ish oways so fun to make fun. Then i was disturbed and woke up at about 4 but due to my sleep deprived brain cells, i started to make spastic voices and kept mumbling and i think audrey and jeanette heard mi. Ooopss. I continued to sleep until about 5.55.

Second dae morning. I went to bathe in the not so flooded with ppl toilet but ish realli flooded. Then u can see bugs swimming around your legs when u bathe. Eeeyer. We got another trainer, ALEX. He ish lyk a sunshine boy and ish realli funny. Yeapps. We went for flying fox, then other 'minor' stuffs lyk tent pitching and compass. Now comes kayaking. Sufyan was the instructor and we were told to stand on the kayak to boost our confidence. Woo. Then we went to bathe before others and settled down for campfire. Mi, audrey, shana, cheri and ying hui clapped so loud at the back and we even stand up to clap. Then i started stared star gazing. Wow, it's awesome and i found my lucky star! Haha. Then we went back to sleep and i found my sleeping bag infested with ants, so i sprayed insect repellant on it. I started ji-siaoing serene again. And i went to talk with audrey and jeanette, then i squeezed myself between them. And went to sleep till morining light.

Third dae. I went to bathe in the same toilet and this time a beetle swam to my feet. Aiyo. Had breakfast and continued with telematch and area cleaning. Ah guas are lucky to clean the canteen. Prize presentation and ah guas was the second best group!!! CHEERS!! AH GUAS WILL WIN THE WAR! AH GUAS HAS WON THE WAR! bwahaha. So fun. Home sweet home. Ya. =)

2006-03-13T04:23:00.000-08:00

Gawh. I'm so tired. It's not even considered holidays. Not. Eck.

2006-03-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

Another day of desperation. All the good teachers are leaving. Two of the best. Well, I've got nothing to express.

To Mr Chiu Wee Meng:

Our dearest friend cum IT teacher for the past 2 years and three months till forever. Haha. He said xue en and mi are the first students he got to know in nh and I'm quite proud about that. He's really a nice guy. Lucky rong2 aye. =) Yeah, all those times we spent were so memorable. Now, he left to persue his dreams and we are going to be behind him. Always. The auntie (me), lame gal (xue en) and monk (wee meng) were the regular customers of mediahub but I guess it won't be anymore. Not anymore. No more printer expert, no more lame jokes, no more monki-ness. Haiz. No more fun in nh. No more burning of cds, junyang craze, workshops and shooting experiences. We spent those times. All of us are going to persue our own dreams. I cried in nh for the first time, I cried for something that I'm gonna miss forever. It was different from the cry last year when I hurt my leg and all those stuffs. I do believe in miracles. Yeapp. Wee meng, we will all do it!! Jiayous!

To Miss Evonne Han:

I really like her alot. Seriously, though she only taught us for about 3 months. She taught me to love chemistry and see through the reality of life. She was a victim of our civilisation and all of us would eventually be. Results? Are they what affect you the most? I guess yes in this society but not in my life. All it's fault. Destiny are to be changed. Stupidity. I guess she doesnt want to leave, if not her eyes won't be watery. Yeah, I love her. I would be less of one person to treat me oreo and amicelli. And one less person to let me take the bus with St. John and slack with her. She's going to a far away place and won't be coming back soon. Eck. Haiz. No matter which route you choose, I will always be there. To kob your oreo and amicelli of course! =)

When people leave, will they even meet or be as good as ten years before? I don't know. I feel so odd. The worl is ever changing and I fear we won't even recognise each other on streets. Nevermind, I'll still remember them for the rest of my life. Or even now. =)

Results.

2006-03-02T03:40:00.000-08:00

mehx, i received most of my results and came to a conclusion. I'm far more better in languages and humanities than science and mathematics. I got an A1 for hmt and pass for english. Which i'm still glad of. I got both A1s for ss and elect. his.. Then for chem. and physics, i merely passed. For the last three subs which are geo., emaths and amaths, I capable of flunking all. That's why I sorta regretted my combo. Yeah. nth much. Just really heck it.

2006-02-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

Todae is the last dae of FEBRUARY. my favourite month. i'm so stressed. i'm so disappointed. i'm so argh. though i decided something on something that was so random todae, but i'm not gonna regret it. yay. of course, who knows i might find a way out of it? thanks to leaned but i guess i'm not ready for it. really. i hope it's not too late. i feel veri glad and elated for cuesiew and guy. omg. leaned too, of course. eck. i'm the only disappointment. sorri. hmmms. yeah, february daes are so special to mi. i dunno why. they are juz special. and i hav to wait till next year. haiz.

cant ppl juz at least do wat dey are supposed to do and get things into their thick skulls alredy? i dunno, things juz doesnt get right. arent them a tad too selfish? they are going to be a drag to everyone. misunderstandings i shld sae. well, they often lead to hurt.

and are we pricks wen we dont do wat ppl order us to do? arent we puppets? and we get all the mean faces and shit attitudes. wth. so wat if they r higher in status? i seriouli dun understand. mayb i'm a disappointment but what's so wrong abt it? what's SO WRONG? i dunno. misunderstandings? ppl tend to judge a person due to wat they see. ya, they consider it solid fact cuz they saw it with their own eyes. but do they try to understand? NO. they dun even try, not even try. so there's nth much i can sae. wen both sides dun try to understand each other equals misunderstandings equals hurt. that happened to mi a load of times. n dat was what i see frm all the experiences. yeah, not anyone's fault after all. juz misunderstandings that leads to hurt.

lyrics for the dae:

Tomorrow

And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be ok
Ya I try to believe youBut I don't
When you say that it's gonna be
It always turns out to be a different way
I try to believe you
Not today, today, today, today, today
I don't know how I feel
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
It's always been up to you
It's turning around
It's up to me
I'm gonna do what I have to do
Just don't
Gimme a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe it's not too late
Not today, today, today, today, today
I don't know how I feel
Tomorrow, tomorrowI don't know what to say
Tomorrow, tomorrowIs a different day
Hey ya eh ya Hey ya eh ya
And I know I’m not ready
Hey ya eh ya Hey ya eh ya
Maybe
Tomorrow
Hey ya eh ya Hey ya eh ya
I’m not ready
Hey ya eh ya Hey ya eh ya
Maybe Tomorrow
And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be ok
Ya I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change

Great song by avril. i dread the shit ppl i see everydae. omg. i reali dunno wat to do. cant we lyk live in peace? argh. havin to face all those shit things done by these ppl is a torture. haiz. not anyone's fault either. live? maybe. maybe we shld blame it on life. yeah. life.

adieu février tenir séance. et je'tiame, castor. ciel volonté amener te à paradis.

haha. that was so lame. i think it's all wrongly used. i'm dumb. whatever. =)

2006-02-26T05:09:00.000-08:00

i'm just freakin tired after the common tests. i dunno why. it made mi realised that i had sorta wasted my first term. it's juz so screwed up. i'm going to flunk at least 3 subs. and guess wat? i sorta regreted choosing the combo i have now. i seriousli think i shoudnt hav choosen geog in the first place but nvm. i'm already this far. wat's the point of turining back? yeah. not much of a point. i'm back. that's the whole blogskin concept. i'm back for my studies. no more happy-go-lucky mode. happy+go=lucky. concept for my sec 2 life. i serousli hav to work hard now. well, the common tests waked mi up. i nearli cried aft the amaths paper. not mainly bcuz dat i didnt finish it but bcuz i dunno a shit abt e questions. seriousli, i think i'm dumb. i dunno. n i noe we are going to face much more ostracism during that period. i really dont mind ppl talking bad abt us. cuz it juz isnt our business anyway. but i'm juz tired. emotionally and physically. i wanna rest. rest in peace. can i lyk sleep for 50 hrs? haiz. nvm. i'm back for the new start.

btw, i think of buying W550i. it doesnt seem bad. and i bought a new nike bag. wahaha. i decided not to wait but take the initiative. yeah, i need a bag badly. haha, n i bought it with a voucher, worth it. =)

study dae

2006-02-22T04:59:00.000-08:00

todae we had emaths and history. i'm certain that i hav the possibility to fail emaths. after school went to je and had ljs with xue en. then went to library to have my tutorial cum having fun session. wahaha. stop teasing me abt ******* liao larhx. lols. we pose fer so many photos larhx. then i put m&m's on kw's head and he was lyk "i can smell it." OMG!! he can smell it?? wahaha. then we started to find our name in the handphone dictionary. lemme explain. eugene:ginny. junyang:jumbog. joanna:loannc. ivy:guy. jeanette:leaned. audrey:cuesew. omg, our name rawks! then we went to have the latest mac milkshake. haha. simply enjoyable dae!! =)

2006-02-04T23:03:00.000-08:00

Three cheers for dance society! Chingay rocks! I'm so HIGH!!! the rapport between performers and audiences was so nice! got one guy even cheered for us! OMG!

Chingay preview:

Started out with leaving class early. Then change costume, makeup, lunch at canteen then off we go! We got there and waited for like so long for the Chingay parade to start. So me, jeanette, audrey and ivy started to crap. we also took pictures with jieming. Then we also found one C/D cup guy. woots. we were 27th item so we are at the furthest end from first perforimg area. Also waited for ages to arrive at the first performing area. There's one big CHINGAY PARADE OF DREAMS logo at the starting position. So cool. Feels so excited whenever those words got bigger and BIGGER. Though the first performing area was a tad screwed up (cuz' the area was so big and we lost the middle point.) but the second and third performing areas were SO successful. We even went to shake hands with the audiences. I also found anqi and xue en! They really came. OMG. Thanks so much okaes! Okaes, here comes the funny part. There's this caucasian guy who said HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU! to me. And I said HAPPY TO YOU TOO! BYE BYE! 0.o Then there's this girlfrind/wife of his who asked WHAT DID THE GIRL SAY TO YOU? And he SHRUGGED. Hahas. Happy to you too! So stupid can.
After the preformance my shoe came off. What the hell. We went to bus. Me and ivy went to dreamland not long after we board the bus. Woots.

Chingay:

Well, went to school at 12.30. Then saw jeanette. ivy and auddrey took cab from Lot 1. Put our bags, makeup and everything. Sorry that I screwed up some guys' eye shadow but it's NOT RAINBOW EYES and PRIMARY SCHOOL ART. I got blend and all lorhx. See I draw so nice for the girls like audrey, ivy and jeanette's. Humph. Then we went to Orchard Road. Woots, went on TV Live at 7 pm news. With si aun, yihang and dantong. The reporter was more nervous than si aun who got interviewed lorhx. His hands were so shaky. Nvm. Then I went back and it was time to get into position.

The whole 'contigent' of dancers were cheering and everything. So shuang can. Audrey made mi shout jiayou to jieming on the other side and he was shouting xie xie back. Then J.O. and junhe were tapping my shoulder and act nothing had happened. Aiyo. We were so HIGH and going down the row to shake hands and everything. Then till the last performance we were still so high. Almost all the couples got sabohed and we all cheered for next SYF. Cool. Back in school we found out that the sec 4s have cried so we went to hug them. Oh my tian. They rawkz larhx. Everyone rawkz. After we changed and everything we went to Mac.

Saw anjo, claud and all. rebe, grace and all. Then got yihang, weihong and all others. Still got jiemin and other two. We bought our meals and sat near to jieming and all. I was like so attracted to the macflurry and asked jiemin to lemme eat. Then dunno why I asked him to bite off my mac fishdipper. I was only joking lorhx. Then we say he hum and he really went to bite it off. omg. lols. Then jeanette, ivy, audrey and mi went home. Woots, CHINGAY RAWKZ. SEC 4 RAWKZ. DANCE RAWKZ. =)

complicated

2006-01-30T07:39:00.000-08:00

feelin totali shit. can those practicali shit ppl go to hell? ecks. haiz. though it's new year, it juz made mi realise how vulnerable families are. dey juz cant change. not to b taboo or anything, but once the ppl of e previous generation pass away, i would b alone by then. with my so called cousin ish of no use. we are like water and fire. intolerable. life. perphaps.

2006-01-25T17:58:00.000-08:00

darn it. i'm stil sick. current record of highest temp: 39.2 degrees. average temp: 38.0 degrees. it never reaches a stable temp cans. guess i would stil b goin to sch tomorrow. fer the performance ya. it's nice slacking at home. not nice to hav headaches and stupid burning sensation all over my body. not nice to hav piles and loads of homework. frankly, overally, it's NOT NICE to be SICK! arrgghh. virul infection. ya. wth.

2006-01-24T04:14:00.000-08:00

wahahahahas. u noe dere's sumthing i found out and ish damn freaking funni. nvm. it doesnt matter loads to mi though. i had been through that in sec 1 and i do realise the hardships u will be receiving in future. i've grown up. if i care a damn about all those negative stuffs in the world, i guess i would be HANGING myself now. yes, i noe dere are sumthings that i realised that we 'must have been' overdoing. and i dun realli care about fame n stuffs. wen i'm given the job, i try my best to do it and i wont want any cock ups in between. that's one of my rules in life. well, if it wasnt fer dis, i wouldnt have been told a workaholic by docs. i'm not the preppy type of ppl, i classify myself as a goth, though i rarely make up like one. i do things by heart. there was once a person who claimed to feel remorseful about not pinning up her hair. i did. i did it by pinning my hair in a whole NEW way! of course, i'm stil proud of it. wahahax, here comes egoistic joanna. i do what i sae. no matter wat, i'm stil freaking sick. 37.4 degrees now.

dey are mi BESTEST BEST frens. dere are sum things i hav to sae. basically, i dun care wat ppl sae abt us. if u cared, trust me, u would hav been called a dog. ooopss, it's dog year ya know? ;) to me, seniors played a serious role. my seniors i shld sae. i nvr brought this topic up before but i guess i hav to sae it now. i hav found the good ppl and 'bad' ppl. i once was framed. misunderstood. fcuking leading the worst life ever. it was they who gave mi dat life and who pulled mi up again. not mani ppl wil experience dat, i seriously noe that kinda feelings. yes, i cried. i was depressed. but guess wat, i wasnt a dog. i'm not taking any sides and this ish not a wat e hell shooting entry. i'm juz sorta showing a disclosed side of my life. if not fer them, i guess i would hav been juz as weak. it's fer them that i'm so strong. thanks though. (no sarcasm. thanks.) why do ya hav to make things to be so complicated? frankly, i dunno. if dey had pinpointed mi at that time, mayb i would hav changed and not take things the rough way. dats ppl u see, DIFFERENCE. a big word. i dun deserve respect cuz i dun realli show respect. if i had showed respect, i wouldnt even be blogging now. i would hav hid and cried somewhere. sorri, i'm not the respect and miss-popular kinda gals. i'm more of myself. dere was once said, the world doesnt revolve around u. i asked, if it doesnt revolve mi, does it revolve around u? ans is the world ish revolving on its own axis. i'm not trying to show a dumb example but that's the point of my blog. if u tried to think, "omg, i'm so bad dat the whole world almost hates mi!" and trying to change urself to suit the ppl ish not my way of things. i do it my way. if i changed, isnt dat too unfair fer mi? take ppl the way dey are. i dun blame anyone fer the hard life i lead, it's the big word again. if others are not able to accept u, dun try to accept them because u are rejecting urself. if the world ish revolving on its own, den i shall take it as it's revolving around mi cuz it's my life. i take charge.

be urself n u dun hav to care abt others. that's the rationale (wonder if i spelled correctly.) tats to my dearie poopoos of course. i luv them. mayb one dae we wil separate but it's not the long-term, it's the heart u put in. once u nvr regret, u nvr do sumthin bad to ur heart (no heart disease aye =)). i stil luv my hair n i dun regret. cuz it's juz so DAMN NICE larhx. i finalli realise a way how to pin it nicely at the studio. hahas. i dun expect anyone to listen to mi nor anything cuz i seriously understand dat i dun deserve it. cuz i dun listen to others either. even if the whole world ish unhappi wif mi, i'm happi wif myself and pretties. that's my way of rebellion, i dun do rebellion the way normal ppl see as. i rebel in my way. REBELLION. MY WAY. that's so egoistic of mi. wahahax. end of my stupid entry. lemme clarify again, dis ish not a SHOOTING entry, it's MY LIFE entry.

2006-01-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

kkaes. currently sick due to virus infection. suspected virus: dengue fever. [i suspected it myself larhx.] went home early todae. now ish 12.41 pm, 24/1/2006. highest temperature: 38.2. wont be back to school until thursdae. juz ate medicine and goin to fall asleep le. doc sae muz rest more, i bet it worsen bcuz of all the tight shedules and all. so gonna chiong maths at home cuz i onli got 7.5/20. pathetic rites. nvm, i'll continue towork hard de. jiayous! take care kaes. dun fall sick like mi. =(

2006-01-23T06:20:00.000-08:00

okaes. i realised sumthing abt my blog. the dates for posts are always one dae later. i post about sundae give mi saturdae. kkaes, nvm. i'll stil take care to it. todae ish 23/1. mondae. sch stil sux as usual. den went to studio to take costume. went for my guitar lesson and realised sumthing. i didnt touch my guitar for the past whole week. i'm so unused to it an of course i played badly. for my theory lessons, it's worse. i'm gonna take the exam in march and i cant even rem all the majors and minor keys. ooops. i'm a stupid student. dumbass in almost everything. klutziness 100%. forget it.

life ish stil so unstable. dunno wat to sae. stress everywhere. xian. i wanna help but i dunno where to start. i hate to see them quarrel. made me cry everytime she told mi abt what he took again. returned? i wonder how long we can stand. it's not everytime that u are so lucky. arhx. parents. mayb i would stil cry in the past but i guess now i wont. no matter how serious it gets. ya, family always shun family when it comes to 'stuffs'. i've got less relative. hahas. i guess i juz hav to accept it. al'rite aye. luv grandad foreva. ;))

2006-01-21T19:25:00.000-08:00

okaes. gonna talk abt chingay stuffs and all. first thing, i sorta pulled/tore my musle. frankly i dunno which ish which. why? cuz i gei kiang can one hand carry the lion. right hand carry nothing happened, juz when i wanted to change hand, i pulled my left hand muscle. Eck. damn stupid reason lorhx. accident prone for almost all big events. SYF - hurt my leg. Chingay - hurt my hand. i wonder what still can happen for other events. yesterdae was the first Chingay rehearsal. not to say much about what really happened, but i sorta don't feel right about yesterdae. that's all. i was totally frustrated. the music was so loud dat i can't even hear myself shout though i tried my best to. i nearly fall to death because of the poster and cameras are still shooting. i really wanna hit the man wif my guun lorhx. nvm. my flops for yesterdae. gonna try to improve on it. haiz.

school stuffs. i dun understand a shit the teachers are talking about. i really don't or is it i refuse to take in. i dunno. both maths sux. the word die simply replaces everything. haiz. wth, if i'm gonna carry on this way, i don't think i'm gonna pass o levels in anyway. okae. maybe except chinese. later gonna go find the physician to see my hand again. haiz. i juz wondered now we are all 15 and responsiblities juz got more and more. and we can't change it, once we reach a certain age, we juz hav to accept it. can't we juz go back and live simply as ever? =)

darrn

2006-01-19T05:40:00.000-08:00

Darrn tired todae cans. played bball wif anqi, simin and yingxin and i was like the last one to reach but i shot a 3 point ball! Woots. Zhuai arhx. Tomorrow got dance and i'm darn tired, so i dun tink i wanna do hw. Arhx. I'm a lag student. Went to Mac after bball match and we were like talking abt childhood life again. Like how I still have e rubber/ metal chain to attach to our wallets in pri. school and how funny were their sisters and brothers. Good day. Btw, I finalli figured out how to pin my hair in a better way! Tidy and nice. The pins wont come flying out after I danced. Yepp. So, i'm goiing to sleep. Sweet dreams and all. ArrRRRHHH.

2006-01-14T22:31:00.000-08:00

goofy. i'm on a destress mood. Arhx. I shld b doing my work but i'm ramming my ears wif blink-182's First date. that song rawks. but overally, the Greatest Hits by Blink-182 ish rawko. woo, i haven thought of a new year resolultion but i dun tink i'm gonna think much abt it. cuz it's juz random. the past year had been a good one with all the ups and downs. wif all my frens and everyone dat sttod beside me. yepp. i'm glad that's all. it's gonna be a new year and i wan new mi! dats all. waha. random saneness. thePretties theMads. PooPoo.

2006-01-13T22:42:00.001-08:00

Poof. Good day aye. Loadsa homework and i'm still thinking about what happened yesterdae. :))Haha, it's so funni larhx. Went to take taxi wif jeanette, audrey and ivy after dance. We were lyk 'taktitaktitakti' all the way. Den went to kfc and some gals got the seat before us lorhx. Oooohh. Twister guy/game. Hahas and after our meal, jeanette n me went to buy some new year sweets to bribe our parents. Hahas, scheming arhx. And ivy was kiapped between e tap card thing lorhx. So funni. Lols. That's all fer yesterdae and we countdown fer jiebo lahx. So todae ish oso considered his bdae. Happi bdae jiebo! He's so old. Ooops. =)) Btw, y i update at diff times and e entry was same as yesterdae de. Nvm, i was writing abt e same dae aniway.

2006-01-13T07:23:00.000-08:00

..Today was like erm...Great of course! Haha. E KFC session was so funny and we were like so spas. Nvm. Tired of the medicine making mi go to sleep. See, thePretties : theMads. That's all. Haha. I'm happy and decided to be sweet and changed e blogskin. =) Crap.

2006-01-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

New year, new blogskin. Nice slogan aye. =))

2005-12-27T22:12:00.000-08:00

Mahx, chat wif jie until 3.30am. i'm dead meat. eccks. lalala. saneness. ignore. =)

2005-12-26T08:54:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm updating again just half an hour after my first update of the day. Nvm, I just feel hyper and nth beta to do. Hmmms, I suddenly wanna soak myself in alcohol, just wanna be drunk. Seriously drunk and I can don't wake up until 12/31. Life seems a tad lifeless. Xianness all the way. I dunno what to hope for. MW told me that she's sick of her life, yeah me too. And yet I told her to have hope and miracle wil happen, I think I should sae that to myself more than her. We are on the same boat. And I can't imagine we are friends for about 10 years. Hey, imagine mini MW and mi sitting at the swing and play n cry....Awwww...Now that was long ago. Haiz, and we are going older. I'm having my sane-ness again. Ignore it. Haiz. Just realised that I have been through alot this year. Sad or happy. http://www.91f.org/happy/86016.asp?id=1 大雄 A nice song I listened on FM, made mi tink of e past year. Haiz. Maybe that's life. Well, to eight sisters: all of us have been separated and onli left the three of us le. Plus ah gong. Dunno why, todae my bus went past JTPS and made mi tink of our past. Those cheeky and rebellious times. Well, everything changes. But I still wish all of you all the best even though we may not regconise each other on the road. Hahas. =)) Tata. Seeya on 2006! Btw, Jerry Yan's bdae ish on 1/1...Well, that just came to my mind and I jus wanna type it down. Hee. Saneness. Ignore.

Eck.

2005-12-26T08:18:00.000-08:00

Must update liao wor. Hahas, but really nothing to update lahx. K, i find something to update. Hmmms, first thing, it's alredy 12.30 am and I'm stil quite hyper. Though I can't see well with my swollen eye. Yes, I made it swollen again. Haiz. Then it's class chalet. Deeply sorry that I can't make it but I hope u guys enjoyed it. I'm really sorry. =] Secondly, ohs, finally dance practice. Tiredness. Tiredness. Tiredness. Enjoyment. That's what I can say. I guess it's because of the long rest and I'm use to the slack holiday life le. Eeck, I'm not prepared for school yet, frankly speaking. I dun wanna go to school. I really dun wan. Third is meeting cyn, kl, hj and ah gong. Dunno why ah gong lyk not in gd mood lehx. Talk to me lyk he's angry wif me. I dunno, maybe it's that I'm paranoid. Dun angry wif me kaes? If I offended you in anyway must tell mi. =) Then it's the dance practice on 31/12, though his birthday larhx. Meh, so easy to remember and have everyone to celebrate with him lorhx. Like the whole world. Gonna enjoy the last day of 2005 and change my blogskin on that day after dance just to mark a new start. But I'm still not satisfied wif e skin lehx. Hmmms. I'm not sure if I have the willpower to update after dance, I tink i can just ly on the bed and pass my last day of 2005 liddat. Not bad wats. Hahahs, k lahx. Update till here, and I want chocolate + Bailey again. =)

Bailey + Chocolate

2005-12-12T05:57:00.000-08:00

Chalet was lyk he--aven. Awesome with Bailey + Chocolate though I mistook it for Whiskey. Hey, it was stated at the back as Whisky, I wasn't wrong aye. =) I really enjoyed it and I don't wanna go back, but for my granddad, I guess I have to. I loved Bridge and thanks for teaching me how to play. Hee. It's really fun and nice honey+ lemon grass bread, cool and everything. Though I didn't gulp the Red Bull+Whiskey, I still drank the diluted Green tea+Whiskey. Cool equation aye. By the way, I'm not drunk. Haha. That's all, total enjoyment. =))

2005-12-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

Cursed this life, am I? I went to school happily hoping to buy books and eat my takoyaki. I met JC on the way and successfully found out that the bookshop was not open. [Didn't check the booklist.] Gladly signed out at the security house and double checked that I went to school for 10 minutes without bringing anything out. *Note the sarcasm* Plus, I signed out on the wrong column, on another guy's column. I decieded to go to Clementi central to eat my takoyaki, at least I have my takoyaki right? The 96 bus gave me a hard time waiting and the takoyaki stall is not open. I went to Mac and gorged myself with the sausage hotcake when it's 11.07 a.m. One lucky thing aye? Gee, am I so blur?? What the hell, I didnt know there's so much thing to blog about one day. I thought only my thoughts and major events. One day really makes a difference and determines your luck. Haiz.

Unite? Yes. Repeat? Yes. Enjoy?

2005-12-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

Erm, classified as unite but just a tad not. By the way the title is the same as a quiz in Quizilla, check it out. It's [Rich? Yes. Pure? Yes. In love?] by nasty4904. Link: http://quizilla.com/users/nasty4904/quizzes/

Yupp, we are going to have a "repeat" chalet. I'm not trying to be spoilspot but just stating what I saw and felt. I'm not sure whether it will make a difference to the previous one. Well, arguments surfaced up and nearly destroyed the whole thing. Nearly. I do not wish to see a repeat. Guess it will be alright this time. At least. But it's just I see people are classified as groups, afterall it's the people who clicked, so initially they will get along better. But I see some people calling themselves the groups even when speaking, isn't that obviously creating a difference? A line that separates everyone? I don't know about others but I just feel that way. Maybe the groups could interact and know each other better. Suddenly realised that when I went out with one of them. Yupp, someone who triggered the argument but nevermind, I won't take that to mind or try to get sweet revenge or anything. It's just what past is past and not to be argued again. 'Cause it's just then I realised what made the difference and started the argument. Maybe we can learn from it and don't do an encore. Groups naturally seperates everyone and the mention of it in conversations is just highlighting the difference. Yupp, that's what I felt when we spoke. But nevermind, maybe the smaller chalet can make a more merrier atmosphere and Christmas is near but I must say, it means we must squeeze again. Dirtiness comes in again. I can't imagine.

So people, I hope the next chalet will be a success. It must be. No more arguments or anything and have fun! =)

Better dae

2005-12-04T18:37:00.000-08:00

Hey! I'm sorta hyper cuz i'm having guitar lesson later...gee...i'm a guitar freak now..how i wished sch could be all abt guitar n we can go to rock band concerts to study on them..yeah, at least i feel better...thanks to ah gong n his wonderful live life to e full-est motto...i'll try to do dat...hee..btw, good charlotte n quizilla rawkz...random sane-ness...ignore it wil do...=))

Shrugs. Again.

2005-12-04T07:28:00.000-08:00

Gee, i updated twice in a dae..dats juz so different...Lalala...plain sick..btw, i guess i hav to change my no., so wait fer my msg...mayb i wil not...i dunno...haven found a phone dat suit mi..psssh..life sux n dats my motto...lols..plain sick abt it..i noe i'm juz ranting e same thing but i hav nothing to sae abt my life..dat's it..*shrugs again* hah, i found sumthing to live for...mum n guitar...plain n simple...sorri, i'm juz in a sane state now...yah sane...dis idiotic comp hav outgoing msg n popups keep appearing...dammit, i guess i hav to update my anti-virus thingy alredi..basicalli i dunno a shit abt comps, n i dunno how e hell, my comp became a shit...prat said he missed mi..gee, did he even tink of mi wen he left? asshole..send so mani mushy msgs fer wat...no practical use okaes..sux lyk hell...sorri, i'm juz rowdy n pissed..

Shrugs.

2005-12-03T21:49:00.000-08:00

Wth..heaven ish so unfair sometimes, juz so unfair...Asshole...Juz after my granddad passed away, an ego idiot msg mi n tell mi not to worry cuz he wont harm mi or anything, n he wil lemme noe who he ish wen e time come..Ass larhx...he better burn in hell...I'm in no mood fer dis kinda games..I bet he noes my blog but i reali dun giv a damn...My comp ish on e verge of hanging anytime, wtf...can heaven be any better...Grrrr, i'm so sick of dis life...i wonder if dat ego idiot ish e gross indian man who kept haressing gals in our block dat guy...he sux to e core..Gee, i'm in such a sorry state now...haiz...i had better die in a car crash or something..I'm not ok...Btw, dat indian man called mi before n said sum gross things men do...*shrugs* he's juz pathetic, plain bastard...Lemme find out dey r e same ppl n i'm gonna kick ass...i dun care..i'm sick of dis meaningless stuff ppl do...cant dey find somthing better to do other than wasting msgs n tellin a gal u wont harm her n wil let her noe who u are wen e time comes...Gee...he better get some pills..den i receive some random number n leave a msg making strange noises..u tink i'll be scared of dat? wa kao..btw, i slept bside a coffin afterall for lyk 3 days..n i saw things worse than noise...u tink i wil get worried by those dunno wat noise and panic lyk a chicken...ass larhx..i'm juz plain annoyed on how thick a skull of certain human can be..hmmms..i dunno...mayb i'll get ambushed at my block sumdae but i dunno..mayb i shld carry a penknife wif mi everydae...can even cut myself...gee...i'm imagining things..y do i always encounter dis kinda things..den others dun seem to n dey r enjoying holidae life...my holidae = chronicles of suffering..end, will update sumdae..

2005-11-21T23:46:00.000-08:00

Your French name is~Ciel~which means 'sky'.You are a day dreamer. You sit and stare at the
clouds, wishing that you could be somewhere
else. You love to imagine what life could be
like if you were someone else, somewhere else.
You are curious and sometimes inattentive.

What is your French name?
brought to you by

Silly

2005-11-11T23:16:00.000-08:00

I have a silly idea here..i wanna go to the Warped Tour wen i hav e chance (not audience but e band) ..though i dun hav a band wif mi but i'm imaginning mi band on e big stage wif dunno how mani amps...dats so cool.. not those small2 ones in s'pore but those reali cool ones in the Warped Tour.. cuz i juz took a quiz abt a band n i juz imagined e picture in the tour..duh, i'm dumb... nvm..i'm way too lazy to update my blog..n i soak myself infront of e comp everydae to do quizzes...i dunno y but dat's juz dat...i dunno wat crap i am writin...so cya!

Course code and everything

2005-10-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Though I rarely blog much about school but I'm gonna sae it now. I gonna type it in a more formal manner. Yupps, 2o'6 do rock and we rock to the end! But dere's one thing that can't be changed, we are living our own lifes and we cannot afford everyone to lead the same. We are going to choose different courses and lead a different life in a different class. I dun like to see ppl hurting each other beacause they dun follow the trend or drag. You mean these ppl who doesn't follow are selfish? Why dun u follow theirs instead? So stop all these kinda hurting words kaes. Ppl might not be lykin what I said but I had to sae, I dun realli care about what others think and remember: YOU LEAD YOUR OWN LIFE. It's not as if you take O' levels for me. So make the right choice. There's no class that can stay forever even if it's united. Then why not you choose the same school as your best primary school friend and you won't land in NH to meet these ppl in your class? Think about it and get this into your thick skull. So what we can do is onli enjoy our short stay and proceed to a new stage of life. Get a life ppl, things just don't revolve around anyone but revolves around yourself. Ppl are selfish in some way, in the end, you are still gonna be separated so there's no point in arguing over these kinda matters. I'm just saying my piece out. I really hate ppl who just make things seemed worse that it can get. Thats all I can sae. Trust me, if you are gonna follow the drag, I can't sae anything but if you are gonna follow yourself, you won't regret. Afterall, that's your own choice. Btw, Goth rules! Bleah, I'm saying shit. So, guys out there, get your thick skull clear, choosing what course doesn't show anything but shows how you go about choosing your life. This is not the situation about united or selfish or not, this is about your life. So choose carefully, don't make it seem so minor when you just follow the drag. I mean there's no right or wrong in following the drag but please, give it a great thought as this might affect your life. Choose "quality instead of quantity", you know what I mean. Yeah, so that's all. Everyone, loads of luck and 2o'6, ROCK ON! =)

Gone. And never come back.

2005-10-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

He's gone...savvy huh? shit, he's such a jerk, prat or bastard...anything u call him...he left without a word! wth do he tink he is...he didnt even inform any1 and left on thur afternoon to M'sia and realli leavin for e states on 1st nov..he beta juz meet wif sum mishap or anything...i dun wanna care..but dun let it come true larhx..i'm juz angry..ltr i would regret all my life if he reali dies..he dun deserve dat but he realli nid sum teachings...he left juz liddat..but wat i'm surprised ish dat i didnt even shed a tear..i'm sumwhat happi, glad, free, not goin to b depressed le..his departure left mi happier, i dunno why but i juz felt lyk i had a big load off my mind..i took it too easily den i had expected..reali, i smiled wen i heard e news though abit angry larhx..hahas..pssshh..ahhh~ i'm so free! yupps, wont get depressed again bahx..my granddad's not doin well...dun leave mi kaes...i stil nid u to b dere fer mi de..haiz...hope he gets beta...=))

Broken.

2005-10-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

Look here!! i have changed my blog skin again, by myself dis time...to a more saddist one..i noe its hard to see so to save your trouble of highlighting and seein small ant words...i enlarged the fonts and switched the colours...dis blogksin suited my mood and feelings now...the song ish nice...veri nice..i luv it..even though he sees it, i'm not gonna care...i dun feel dis way all bcuz of him but partiali i guess...i have decided to b a nun...hahas..dats way better than wat i'm now...mehx..todae went home wif e rockest couple aft dance n i felt dat i'm so extra...lols..dat awkard silence..hmmss... nvm but its sorta fun in a way...i nearli choked to death...yupp, i guess i hav nth to sae abt my life..i wanna get back at him..since he acts big wen all of us ask him out to meet him a few last time before he departs, he chose his best fren instead of all his friends...so, wen we are gonna see him off fer e last time before he departs, its either i'm gonna take my sweet time to be late/ go out wif frens/see my ah gong...no doubt, he's gettin on my nerves...psssh..

Pssssh...

2005-10-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

Kaes, he's leavin dis week...dis sat or sun bahx...so fast, how m i supposed to take it? but i took it easier dan i thought i would...i dunno why...i juz felt dat he shld go...wen e tym he goes, i noe everyone would come n console mi or anything but i dun tink i'm gonna nid it..not reali nid it...juz dun nid it..i guess i had nothin beta to do now...hahas, i dun even intend to giv him a present due to the sudden notice..nothing could explain my feelins now...lackadaisical? mayb...i thought so.. wat can i do other den watchin he leave? funni...i dun even wanna care...i guess she shouldnt have told mi dat he's leavin, tell mi wen he had left ish beta, at least i wont grieve...i dun even wanna care about anything now..mehx.

2005-10-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

i hate dis again..i hate to quarrel wif my mum...i mean wats e deal?? so hard? damn? is it so guo fen dat i have a gals' night out n wanna go sentosa the next next dae?? y do we oways hav to quarrel abt dat? aquarius peeps luv to b free in anything..dats y wen she wants mi to stay @ home n i cant..i wanna b wif an-be, ah min n xe...dey r oways so fun...i would rather exchange fer e gals' night out..though both rawks..juz lemme die n i can go aniwhere..is it so hard freak? kao.. but u guys enjjoy larhx...happi suntan!! =)

Girls' night out

2005-10-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

Girls' night out ya..xe, angela, susan, merrie n mi went to joan's hse after eatin @ pizzahut n i went for guitar lesson (finalli after our last paper)...itz so fun sia...btw, i conned (i admit) simin and anqi out to eat wif mi n xe den send em' back to choa chu kang frm bi shan?? hahas...we finali arrived at joan's hse at abt 12.20 bahx...den chat wif *dad* till 2 sumthin...den play pokercards..den e room too humid le...so mi n xe went to e next room to sleep...itz abt 3.30 or 4 bahx...den at abt 6++ joan's mum came over n asked us if we want blanket but itz hot too (no fan sia)...she gave us a pillow each...so sweet...at least we hav sumthin soft to hold on to...e floor ish cold n hard sia..den sleep until 9++...den slack again..den now bloggin le lorhx...hahas...ltr muz go visit grandad in hospital...hope he gets beta ya! bye! =))

2005-10-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

hmmms...its been a long time since i updated...juz feels dat sumthings are getin beta n sum things are not..dats life ya...its onli wen cyn n hj enlightened mi den i see e picture, okaes, i'm dumb...so i see it...so he noes dat i stil lyk him n intro dat guy to mi..den made mi suffer cuz e guy juz wont stop fan-nin mi...his motive was juz to make mi giv him up..den he can leave..i noe..i tink he may b even readin dis blog but who givs a damn...he ish juz as childish, he thought dis would help..haha, funni..he's not gonna take it anywhere..he betrayed mi..i told him not to tell dat guy i got play neopets den ya, he told him n made dat guy wanna gimme all his things in neopet..lols..i mean why would i want it if its frm him...its not lyk i play neopets lyk my life to wanna take all his things...nvm..he juz dun get it...i noe i'm bitchy towards him..juz cant help it...n i cant forget wat he did to mi at e basketball court...wtf...i was totalli offended...wat his fren did was totalli guo fen can...i juz didnt wanna slap him...mayb sum touchin cant b avoided wen playin but...wat he did was more den dat...i thought..kaes...nvm...dats one of e reason i'm bitchy towards his fren..seriously, i'm scared..wen i told him dat...he can even laugh at dat..wth..he even made mi e same team wif his fren (we are 2-2)...mayb he dun even treat mi as a fren...wat would he do wen his fren was lyk got 'touched' by his other fren??

dats e first thing i realised wen hj n cyn enlightened mi...so he was cruel..utterly cruel..how can he b so guo fen...kao..he totalli sux at dat..dat dae was mid-autumn ya...dat full-moon dae..my previous full-moon dae was lonely but now, he made it worse...i dun even tink i would live to see e next...i hate dat dae so much...juz hope he leaves n dun stay...if not my mid-autumn dae would always be spoiled..secondly, i hate being betrayed(who would like it?)...he didnt juz do it once...it was lyk everytime...he thought juz by intro-in his best fren would help my single status?? he thought i stayed single cuz of him?? kao..itz bcuz all e guys i met dis 2 years were juz jerks lyk him...wonder y i'm so suay...xian diao...i hate ppl tellin lies...i mean those kind small lies would b ok...but those lies dat made u feel totalli dumb, idiotic, stupid and made u run lyk fool but stil ended on e same spot...i reali hated dat..i dunno wat i can do...i reali wanna get back to him...i wanted him to suffer lyk i do...dis mental n physical torture..mayb i'm juz as evil...but...i'm frustrated n angry wif him..y cant he juz treat mi lyk a real fren? as if i wanna hav sumthin wif him..but in e past i admit..i onli treat him as a best fren now n he treated mi lyk dat..hahas...dats my life...

i can onli laugh at dat...wat can i do..suffer? mayb..next exam ish art n science le...i alreadi die for mani exams le...cant fail chemistry cuz wil kana retain de...haiz..but jiayous everyone!! sorri abt my long crappin...

Mow...

2005-09-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Hmms...juz came back from hospital cuz granddad hospitalised lahx...hmmm...sorta ish my bad mouth's fault la...then dun reali hav time to study le let alone update...yah...so dats e deal and btw i finalli realised y i was betrayed of set up by him le...it was all a pian ju....kana scheme le...he sux lyk hell, dats wen cyn and hj enlightened mi den i realised dat...kaes, enough of him. i hope he wil juz go back dere even if he fail...ya...but din dats...aiya, got tym den sae...n kk dats all..*saes gd bye wif wei sein's zhao pai dong zuo* "Dui ni ai ai ai ai bu wan~~~" jiayous every1!!!!

Happi belated Mid-atumn festival yah.

2005-09-19T04:32:00.000-07:00

Woots, i'm back lerhx..suddenly thought of givin him up, yupp....dere's no use even if i cling onto him, no point...I won e Corpse Bride ticks (dunno if it's preview de larhx...) It was like this: I wanna go out wif my frens last sat but no ppl wanna go out wif mi and i was blamed for bein last minute again. Bleh. Who cares. So i dragged xe wif mi (kaes...i was bad). We went to cine cuz one of my reasons to go there was to see ppl cosplay as ppl of Land of e livin and dead [ later i found out: playin as Corpse Bride and e ppl inside]. I dunno wat was dat so i didnt wanna take part. After goin dere n saw nth, we decided to go home, den so heng heng we saw 1 guy dere askin ppl to show him our ezlink card to win e ticks den i showed mine.... A mum backed out so xe joined in.. Den i saw e guy emcee saw my gothic looks and asked a gal whether i can win e ticks but she sae canot, so nvm we continued with e game. We were supposed to make up e words CORPSE but we didnt so we juz got a poster as consolation. Then i bu gan yuan so i went to e toilet and borrowed some powder and darkened my eye wif my eyeliner (I was wearin all black dat dae). Then we went out and e gal sae she wil gimme e ticks... And we took a photo... Lols, mayb she saw us kelian/ too enthu barhx..so we got e ticks...Yupp

Well, juz wanna giv him up barhx.. Now ish reali xia ding jue xin le... Won't cut myself again... Mayb wen my next depression comes... Dats all... Gonna go watch Corpse Bride wif simin... Hahs...(=

Look here!!

2005-09-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

Meows~ Hahas just to update my quizzes (I did it myself de kaes...) Check it out, here's e link http://quizilla.com/users/Jolim/quizzes/%2B.%2B%20Lyrics%20%2B.%2B%20%26gt%3B%20Did%20you%3F%26lt%3B%20%5BIn%20a%20new%20P.O.V.%5D/ Rate and msg okaes. Check out my other lyrics too! Thanks!

Muahahaz

2005-09-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

Ellow!! I'm back again wif mi depression sia...but not cuttin miself again larhx...u noe, i'm sorta sick of penknife cuz i hav to cut all e double-sided tape off my lantern den itz lyk i hav a 100% chances to cut miself but i didnt...den wen i try intentionally dat tym, xe will put her hand over mine...so forget it...i dun wanna hurt anione who luvs mi...yah...so...dats okaes le..juz watched chi zi cheng long and find dat Cui Peng is actualli so shuai!! Cool, he's so cool and cute as xiao bai long! He sorta rawkz! kkaes...stop my hua chi-in...since i'm not gonna be long-winded den let's cut it short...okaes...dat freak ish lyk not gonna stop pesterin mi...wth..msg mi wat: [love ask friendship:Why got mi already stil nid you? Den relationship reply: cuz u make ppl cry, den i'm here to wipe e tears away. Den added one more (by him i guess) : i want to cry for you...] pls larhx...can use betta tactics?? sian diao lorhx...i already made everything clear enough...isn't his skull juz too thick?? wah...so xian, cant he juz lyk STOP IT?? I reali wanna kill him if i hav e chance...n wat thanked mi for motivating him...i was lyk wanna 'thank' him for causin all e pain i suffered...i curse him to hell...haiz..y cant i juz hav betta luck these daes...juz e same unlucky things everydae and it juz gets worse off..even wen frm wakin up and to sch oso muz happen at least 2 unlucky things...haiz..bitchy mi..haiz...best of luck everyone! (=

Meow

2005-08-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

Kaex, juz wanna make things clear...e tts i'm tokin abt ish not wat e hell tts u guys (ex-classmates) are talkin abt...so dun come askin mi at first sight: "you lyk tts arhx?" Itz so freakin spoiling e happi t'chers' dae kaes...I rejected him but its not my fault...so dun come tellin mi dat he ish vv sad...wat abt mi? His hurt would onli last for a girl whom he lyked 2 weeks but mi? 2 freakin years kaes! I'm a bitch, i noe...but dis year's t'chers' dae was sorta screwed up, but it stil gave mi flashbacks of e tomboy n everydae playin catchin mi of e past...hee..i met my p4-now p6 bros...dey are stil e same and in bball team wif dis height? owww~ so cute...Hahs, we r back wif e gang! cute! Wow, i missed 'em a freakin 2 years long...we started playin the infamous catchin at mi p3, dey p1....We have been playing for like 6 years already...time reali flies....

Then he came. He didnt went back to his pri sch but came to mine instead. That's ok but some ppl who are actin smart alec kana dao-ed by mi. Stop pushin mi to him! I hate dis kinda feelin! I dun wan to hurt him and that's why i didnt wanna receive his present...I noe it took him much time to do that and i'm touched, i noe...But i didnt wanna hang his heart high and let it drop to the floor with a 'plat'...How can his sadness be compared to mine? His presence screwed everything up! My life was broken...He didnt know that i lyked e other one (for lyk 2+ years)...everyone knew...he reali screwed everything...askin him to act as a 'middleman' made it worse off...i noe you are hurt but did you know how much you hurt mi?? Dun expect mi to come and comfort you or even listen to the rantings about how sad you are, pls dun you understand? Freakin hell...Just call mi a bitch, i'm selfish maybe...but you were not needed, frankly speakin... I thought i could still hide in a corner and just watch him leave but you had to made him push mi out and face e truth..wat do you tink you are doin?? I noe you don't and won't know these things and i cant blame you...i don't know who to blame...itz not anyone's fault....mayb mine...i dunno..everything is so screwed and fucked up...i had been crying the whole night...so mani things...omg...can't i juz lyk die and go to heaven and dun live again? everything sux. pardon my rantings.

2005-08-26T04:22:00.000-07:00

You're crying because you've had to say goodbye to
someone, and your heart has been broken because
of it. You feel like you've been treated
unfairly and you're tired of people telling you
to get over it. It's very hard for you to just
jump into new relationships or friedships
because you're sick of having you're heart
broken. You just want to rewind everything and
start over. And that is why you're crying.

Why are you crying? (beautiful pics)
brought to you by

Ezren

2005-08-17T02:06:00.000-07:00

Kaes, e title ish juz a name frm one of e quizzes i read...itz nice..hahahs...gave presents to JY todae at assembly...sorta sia suay/bu yao lian etc lyk wat others sae n i dun care...hee, at least i fulfilled e job of givin him da presents for his birthdae...sorta didnt wanna care abt dis things animore..juz so xian to hear e same things again...heys, attitude workin again...mayb i juz heck cared too much things...didnt wanna gao my depression again, i wanna live life happi again ( kaes, i noe i'm oways siao) well, wil wait until he leaves den settle everythin...i dunno, juz wanna enjoy e time wen he stil stays...not wanna regret again wen he leaves...cyn, shld ask her to cum out n mit him some of these days... yepp, so i wont get depressed again, nvr again...mayb his presence brought mi back again? i dunno...juz felt dat i shld continue...i dunno, its so luan...i dunno how i feel....it felt so right dat i felt wrong...dunno how to sae...well, kaes gtg study lit le...jiayous kaes!! =)

Mehx.

2005-08-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

hahs! Thanks loads to jc for my blogskin! Thanks heaps! Lalala...sumthings juz had to happen which made mi more determined to so called hate or feel utterly disappointed wif my family...well, it had to be...i feel abandoned...juz lyk a orphan...i hope dey wil get a divorce sumdae, sae dat i'm evil...i dun care...hahs..i dunno am i rebellious or wat...i juz feel dat i hav to live life under my own rules...i dun hav to listen to those preps...now i noe why i kept attitudin or let ppl hav e feelin dat i'm attitudin..wahahs...i dun reali care abt anitin now...i felt dat i'm gettin colder and colder after all these things...hee...tink it started frm my sec 2 year...so mani things...y cant i juz live lyk a normal 14 year old...had to witness all these things..i dun care..hmmm..i'm listenin to young and hopeless by good charlotte, well it sorta relate to my life...kaes...not gonna elaborate on my depression now...juz sae i sorta hate my life but nevertheless, i gonna live it to the best...hahas...ok...but one last thing...thanks to jc! =)

Lalala

2005-08-07T04:22:00.000-07:00

woots...todae ish sorta a gd dae bahx..i met tts at JE for his NCC flag dae bahx..convinced mi to donate $2 n got a badge...hahas..it was meant to be a gd dae i shld sae...miao told mi dat dere ish an audition todae at J8 but in de end it was frm 1 to 3, which was like diff frm yesterdae's 5-7...so we missed it..yea, we got e wrong time...but thank god i didnt went dere..sorta fallen off wif simin cuz i dunno...juz quarrelled off e audition matter...it's a long story..well, i guess dere wont be so much dance practs animore...so i can reali concentrate on my study or is it juz dat i'm lazy? i dunno...seems dat i had been blacklisted by mani teachers..lyk for attitudin, hw, attire and things dat i dun even noe...wat e hell ish happenin now? i dunno...is my attitude reali dat bad? hahs...i dun care animore..common test ish cumin n i shall chiong for e best but i noe dere's nothin much i can do except for catchin up...esp maths...tan was lyk said we shld get 90...wth..do you tink dat it's so easy...i guess gettin an A2 ish already quite a hard job liao lahx...i noe i'm pathetic..gone case bahx..haiz..i guess i would sort out my feelins after tts's gone bahx..juz hav to wait n concentrate on studies 1st bahx..cuz it's lyk a long time dat i had seriously concentrated on my studies...wahahhas, i dunno how bad i can get..but juz do my best bahx..jia yous everyone!! 2/6 muz oso jiayous for cheer comp kaes??!! of course!! =))

Wahahas

2005-08-03T05:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, i'm back...i noe e things juz bside couldn't navigate, so juz read my blog kaes...hahas, in a not bad mood lahx...haiz...i noe i'm a bitch, suddenly juz found out dat i had attitude quite alot of teachers...hahas and i did quite alot of crazy thingys...like we went to the birdpark and played e splash and got ourselves (mi, simin, yee xien [heys i noe how to spell ur name correctly liao], xue en, serene, bor~~~, huiyu and nath) that's all i remembered, but i noe onli e 1st 4 of us got wet (yah, u can see through it but not xie kaes...). well, we were crazy...but it was cool...today the cheer comp was a drag, totally drag but it came out ok in the end...it was alright, maybe we weren't the best but we did a good job 2o6! And woo~~ a bad news juz came to me, struck mi lyk lightning...mayb not mi but my whole family...hahas...i dunno wat to do...everyone was sloggin so hard and all the bad things juz had to happen...hahas...am i mockin at myself now?? shit, i think i'm goin berserk now...sooner or later...well, the bad news shot too fast, too fast..i dunno how to react, reali...now my real fight comes...should i fight or should i die?? i hate this life... i onli noe how to act happi wen its da worst of times... you wouldn't see mi cry wen i face e worst of times, i onli becomes hyper...so called lyk hui guang fan zhao bahx...you would see mi cry wen i'm under stress but not wen e worst thing hits..lalalala...i think i'm reali diein...i dunno... mayb u would come and attend my funeral some of this daes? so b prepared bahx...dun come and ask mi wat happenend or wat "see ur blog sae until so serious"...i noe..i noe..i'm not sendin some threats or wat but i'm saein wat i feel now...i dunno..i may reali die some of these days... let's juz see wat more games can this life play on mi or with mi i shld sae...i'm a rebellious gal so maybe i would lyk to prove dat i'm not so easily defeated...i dunno...sometimes i juz feel lyk diein...ok let's not talk abt death animore..mayb i would meet my maker (GC song:Fallin away) sumdae..ok cuz i'm listenin to dis song now, so i'm quotin it...

i'm crappy todae...i dunno...everything seems to b fallin apart...i dunno how much or how long i can hold on to...tts's leavin, family probs, sch probs, attitude, all e stupid things, i'm droppin...dat's all, not much reasons to kill myself...i had nothing to sae abt my life...things juz get worse...it wont get better... the horoscopes were juz lies...suan ming were also lies...life juz couldn't get better huh?? i dunno wat to sae, i couldn't curse, what would it help? i noe i'm juz a bitch...it had to b liddat...if i had a chance, i would kill all e ppl i nid to then kill myself and free everyone..i noe diein ish not a freedom but it juz lemme close my eyes frm dis world..i hate to see this life and i hate to live it...hahas..i juz laughin dat how drastic i could get...i noe i'm gettin crazy sumdae...ok, it doesn't matter if u dun understand...it need not be...i can't cry now..it seems so hard so cry now...i dun wan to b weak...i dun wan to b beaten by life so easily...cant i juz defy heaven's will?? cant it juz get better? dun tell mi things will get better cuz no matter how long i wait, another bad thing juz strikes...life had to get worse rites? i reali had nothing to do or sae juz to sit and stare...i dunno..dun ask mi why or anything..i couldn't b bothered...

mayb i dun hate dis life, but i juz hate how it works...dats y..mayb...if i'm not born here..mayb sumwhere where i dun hav to suffer liddat? mayb it's not sufferin but juz probs dat i had to face..juz destined...may b dere would b sumthin betta...mayb i wouldn't live till dat dae...mayb i would pull through...i dunno..i noe i'm contrastin...lyk i said..u dun hav to understand...juz dat i'm crappin..i noe..ok...i tink i wrote too long..okaes..hav to go liaos..dun care abt mi...juz take it dat i'm another depressonist(new word sia...) kaes..jiz yous everyone =) i'm ok..i tink so..

hate

2005-07-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

hmmmsss...it's been a long time since i returned!Welcome mi kaes!i'm so sick of dis life...haix... on fri, i tink i hurt my hand n had a fever...suay suay kana wong scold den canot take it liao...i cried...i hate to cry, i cried 3 times in nh, twice all started by wong...wth..and i wonder is it good tao hua yun or wat lahz...keep havin ppl online jioin mi...its lyk wtf...all aged 20+ de ppl lor..bear with my attitude now...dun care about mi if i attitude anyone dis month...i'm in such a foul mood dat i wanted to cut myself again...i thought i could suppress it but it juz became even stronger...ok, make it clear...i reali dun lyk those guys out dere online jioin...its so fan gan...i'm reali so xian..y am i oways e dao mei one?? i dun nid those guys, i juz nid him...but wth, he ish leavin dis year...wat am i gonna do? die? i dunno...so much stress recently...can i juz leave or sumthin liddat...i hate everythin dat ish happenin to mi...bad things reali comes in a row...neverendin...i nid luv...family luv or anithin...but i juz feel so abandoned...might as well cut myself again...i dunno..i tink i cant find my penknife again...haiz..*dies* bb xian diao.. to all those guys out dere online jioin: f*** off! (bear with mi)

OMG!!!

2005-06-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

Good Charlotte is coming to Singapore!!! God...cool and there is free standin at $69!!!any peeps wanna come wif mi? veri xian if 1 person go lehx...please anyone?? muahahaha....i'm so happi dat dere r cumin but shit....no monei liaoz...omg...pls can...i reali wanna go...GC rocks!! Yippee!~

meh.

2005-06-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

wow...long time since i last updated...muahahaha...suddenly realised dat mayb previous him was the one that i liked most (or even loved, i dunno)...cuz till now, i couldnt forget him juz lyk cyn bah...he's goin back in two years and mayb not comin back here again...so he's gone...haiz...the dinner turned out fine and everything...so i'm the shen jing bing one for thinkin so much...i stil lyk seasons dis song....mayb wen he's goin dat tym, i can sing to him...muahahaha *evil grin* i dunno...so i realised it...i hav to giv up both...juz mayb its previous him dats givin mi da probs n tats all...i wil reali she bu de him one...haiz...n reali, i dun even mit him up to 10 or even 5 times per year...i dunno...his the one dat i cant or dunno how to giv up...i dun even noe if i stil lyk him or not...i thought i thought about it n its juz i cant forget him n dats all...i didnt realise dat mayb i would stil lyk him...i dunno...cyn can msg mi wen u see dis...pls...i'm gettin confused n everything..mayb i was to stubborn to face the fact or i was blind...kk cyn rem k...luv ya and 8sis rawkz!! :))

2005-06-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

Angel.

Woohoo~

2005-06-16T04:19:00.000-07:00

I'm back!! Sorri cyn...i'm gone for too long...heyah...i lyk dis song Seasons by GC...sumhow reminded mi of tts...but well i've chosen to give up...mayb but i noe i cant...even him cant be compared to previous him...the him now noes it, reali...i was sumhow betrayed...hurt...depressed...i dunno...cuttin myself again *in thoughts*...i've chosen to give both of them up and be a nun! Bye! Lols..no lahz...but i dunno what i'm goin to do...wat ah cons said:"Why not sit back, realx and enjoy bein frens?" yeah, she and shen enlightened mi again..hahas..

see, my most wanted CD is GC's 1st album (Good charlotte) because of dis song...but its so hard to find...i can only find the Young and the Hopeless...xian diao...cyn...let's mit up sumdae can? i miss you and all so much...sorry cuz i dun hav much time left to do my hw (which is as good as new) , so mayb we can mit wen sch reopens..sorry...jie, i miss you too...dance rox and the outin was fun...hahas...i hate it at ice skatin and the ulu ulu pool...bad lobang sia...but wen i went to the ulu ulu pool wif kl n edwin, it was so funny (the same night wen tts held the dinner)...hope to go out wif 'em again...the happi couple, never endin...hahas...cyn, tell mi wen u free den we go out n i give you n kl the booklet kaes? sorri ah...

Den everytime at dance i oways have my klutz moments and kana one...nvm...so muz improve on the next dance pract lahz...lols..k lahz..gtg n jia yous! :))

2005-06-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life
right now and are unable to make decisions that
pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures
as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't
seem to get any better by whatever method you
are using for now. There is a pain inside
because of this and you feel helpless in your
life, thinking you will never find your way
back. But even though the path may seem dark
you still try to find yourself, which means
your inner battle is not over.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by

2005-06-16T03:36:00.001-07:00

You like the prince charming type.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by

Hold On by Good Charlotte

2005-05-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

heys! dats e song...Hold On by Good Charlotte...GC is my god, they rox! i lyk their songs veri much but i only got the Chronicles of Life and Death CD (frm Jeanette)...hmmm, i would recommend S.O.S. and Predictable..dis are my favourite songs...i feel more qing song now...at least i can put down things easily...but i think i'm stil a constant self-harmer...hahas, wen i cried dat dae, i tried to find a pen-knife to cut myself but i onli found scissors...sad case..my mum was smart to keep it locked sumwhere..i noe wat i'm doing, its juz i'm so stressed up...juz let blood flow wil b e best choice...i'm back wif da rebellious n depressed but light-hearted self(contrastin eh?)...i will stil do drastic thingys(not veri sure wat r dey) ba...i might as well dedicate my life to music...well, although cyn told mi she tink we wont make it big but i believe dat one dae we wil de! i noe its sorta hard...but believe: lao tian ye hui wei na xie ceng jing fu chu nu li de ren, da qi yi ge jiao ou yu de qiao liang, rang ta men yu xing fu zai ci xiang yu! (my msn nick) dats wat i oways tell xe..

i wanna b a goth..dey rox! i tink i'm gettin crazier everydae...yea! todae i'm goin 4 my elect guitar lesson wif yee xian le!! happi sia..but reali, i haven revise 4 my bio test...so i dun care, juz try mi best...i wanna be a GOTH!!! i'm crazy...but i feel happi = crazy...hmmm...i dunno wat i'm writin...i wanna mit 8sis...i'm sorry dat i didnt turn up for e last mitin...sorri...i noe jie ish angry wif mi( see, now he didnt even call mi)...sorri...haiz...sorri ehx...*depression overwhelms me* wenever i tink of dis...sorri lahz..but he wont see my blog...so no point saein sorri...cyn...

so dats all 4 todae, its 10.44am now...gonna do geo hw n revise bio liao...one last thingy to add: i hate previous him n i dun wanna mit him...he ish e suckiest guy i ever seen...+P take mi as a rude/rough/rebellious gal, anytin u sae..argh!! P.s...its not gonna affect my happi mood todae..

Hepi june hols (its near!)

2005-05-22T00:08:00.000-07:00

heyz!! it's been a long long long time since i had updated ma blog...now i'm back wif a new self i guess...hmm...he is a much better person den previous him, at least he didnt avoid mi...we r stil frens...i finally understand, somthins are juz not meant to be...i decided to give up, really giv up and wish him all da best! :)) jia you!! yea, feelin betar now..i'm pickin up electric guitar now and it rocks!! inspired by Good Charlotte bahz...dunno..hu ran hav dis idea...i guess i'm despo in lookin 4 a part time job bahz...askin anqi n simin to go wif mi n yee xian's cousin to help bahz..dey r all sweet n nice n cute frens...u noe..juz a bit xie lah =P now ish everydae meng eat fruits and milk to jian fei cum sheng qian...lol...cultural pot. rox! guess wat, oai oai oai brought up to its standard...we r e best!! zhulin oso!! we r e highlight of e nights! hahas...at least feelin abit eased now,den rite cumin ish bio test (tues)...not even prepared...but i promise i wont flunk...god pls dun lemme flunk again..den ish PTC,chalet n meetin...argh..i hate e meetin,i juz dun wanna see mk and da previous him...he ish so zhuai wen he noes i lyk him in e past...he sux...sae wat: " she so rough...no matter wat, i wil nvr lyk her in dis life etc" he zhuai ge pi lor..fuck...reali regretted 4 lykin him but i dun regret for lykin da him in sec sch..he ish reali veri nice...(back to point) i dun wanna mit him, ltr he wil b zhuai again 1 lor...despo to find substitute bf to go spike him...how to find? shitty lor...but nvm...yi qie sui yuan bahz..i dun wanna care..

haiz...too much stress lately...money,studies, frens n thank god no more gan qing shang de wen ti le..so left dis to b sloved...i dunno wat am i gonna do...june hols mean nothing to mi, we stil hav 2 cum back 4 88th anni. practs no big deal...juz da whole hols...nahz...n my own band wif cyn n hj lyk dun hav ani zhao luo....8 sis de relations seems to b tan-ner den b4...i dunno, may da fault onli lies wif mi, mayb i m da 1 who ish yi shen yi gui-ing..hahas, the time wil cum 4 everythin to b solved, juz HOLD ON! ;))

2005-04-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

You are sad because of your grief

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by

2005-04-16T20:13:00.000-07:00

Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.

What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by

2005-04-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

Your soul is broken.
You are living through a lot of pain everyday
that you have to deal with, which is making you
sorrowful. No one ever stays by your side when
you truly need them and no one ever will.
Everything is hopeless and tragic and you keep
yearning for the day you will be free from
pain. Love is unlikely to happen to you because
you isolate yourself and are suspicious of
peoples motives. You stand in the shadows of
the world, watching what you can never have.
The bruises you carry never seems to heal, your
mind is dark and no one seems to understand or
wants to help. As always, you will be alone in
the world, fighting your dark thoughts by
yourself.

How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by

*Ayu~Jolim*